You may have heard the saying “expect nothing and you will never be disappointed,” once or twice before. To that we say, “GET REAL!” It is completely acceptable to have wedding day expectations…

In fact, you should spend just as much time (if not, more) planning your wedding day as you should planning your entire marriage. More often than not, newlyweds claim their wedding day came and went far too fast! Your wedding day expectations need to measure up in reality. Read more to discover common misconceptions when it comes to your wedding day expectations versus the reality.

Scenario #1: The Morning of Your Wedding Day

Expectation: You rise in tandem with the sun feeling well-rested and ready to get married. Morning doves fly through your windows and a troupe of wildlife animals prepare you for a day full of pampering and relaxation, much like a Disney movie.

Reality: You didn’t fall asleep until 4 A.M. Thanks to the perfect combination cocktail of excitement, nerves, and the realization that you’re about to follow through with the most important decision of your LIFE, you suddenly feel like you’re in high school. You ask yourself, “Who said I was adult enough to do this?!” Oh right… it was YOU!


Scenario #2: Hair, Make-Up, and Dress-Up

Expectation: You will be the most attractive version of your human self that you have EVER been, and what a shame that in just a few short hours you’ll officially be off the market.

Reality: You tried to take care of that pimple-pest who hacked your guest list and RSVP’d for the big day last minute, and now your forehead is bleeding out like a war wound. But hey, everything is going to be okay! You’re a beautiful human, even when your internal biology is showing externally.

Scenario #3: Your Wedding Party

Expectation: Every wish, want, and need that you mutter will be met by your loving coterie of best friends.

Reality: Everyone is so worried about their own look and they apply their own lip balm before offering you any…(awkward)!

Scenario #4: The Ceremony

Expectation: Delicate tears sparkle like diamonds as they run down your cheeks while you listen to your lover profess poetic justice in their vows to you. As you recite your vows in return, the morning doves from this A.M. swoop in to deliver your wedding rings. Your guests are forced to wear sunglasses indoors because your rings radiate like the sun (and those sparkling tears).

Reality: All of the edits you made last night, this morning, and 5 minutes ago are now completely ink-smeared from the tears that are falling as you listen to your lover’s vows to you. You try your best to stay true to your original writing, but you end up improvising more than you expected…Everything is going to be okay! You will probably laugh and cry at the same time, but your guests will think it’s a special insider moment between you and your partner. Play it cool…Everyone lives for those moments at weddings, especially photographers!

Scenario #5: The First Married Kiss

Expectation: Your guests are surprised with an impromptu light show as sparks fly from your lips, much like fireworks on the 4th of July!

Reality: You go for a PG rating smooch, and your partner jumps straight to rated-R make-out session! Needless to say, meeting in the middle ain’t always pretty.


Scenario #6: The First Dance



Scenario #7: The Food

Expectation: You attend multiple tastings to make sure the food is absolutely perfect. You sit down on your throne, well-fitted into your dress, and inhale the entire plate of salad, entree, and dessert in a matter of seconds.

Reality: Between reception duties, thank you’s, and trying to follow your event timeline, you’ll have just enough time to chow down on a passed hors d’oeuvre (if you’re lucky)!

Scenario #8: Post-Wedding Sex

Expectation: You lost count of how many orgasms you’ve felt because you were so distracted and turned on by all of the rose petals and tealight candles your spouse managed to sneak into your boudoir without your knowledge…You return the pleasure and give thanks for a perfectly executed post-wedding sex environment with a perfectly executed orgasm for them.

Reality: You’re exhausted! You’ll wind up together in bed naked, but only because you were too tired to find lingerie or pajamas. You pass out knowing you have a whole lifetime of hot sex ahead of you and so for now, you sleep.


Scenario #9: The Photos

Expectation: Your photos break the Internet like Kimye…except they got nothing on you two!

Reality: You’ll be forced smile and pose in a way that even your third-grade self would not approve of…Have an open mind! It’s not so bad wandering off alone into a wet field while your new spouse stares adoringly from a distance…These images will definitely be used as your next Facebook cover photo, guaranteed.


Sure, okay…some of these scenarios may have been enhanced for dramatic effect. No matter how your wedding day unfolds, the most important thing to remember is your promise to each other. The promise of this day and forever remains for better or worse.

by Hannah Poorman

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